Love vs Need

Is love a natural thing? Or do needs give birth to love? Are we humans meant to be loving, or is love just a byproduct of life with unequal proportions at various junctures? Can someone be criticized if they are not very loving towards others or not as responsive as expected?

When we were born, all we cared about were two things – comfort and needs.
We would go to sleep and wake up at our comfort. When we were hungry or thirsty, we would cry for our needs to be fulfilled. We didn’t care enough for who our Mom and Dad were and what kind of ordeal they are going through.
And we gradually grow up. We start calling someone our mom and someone our dad, and many other relations come to life. We do that because we are asked to, not out of love or choice. We go to school, go to college, meet more people, make friends and enemies and so on. Comfort and needs still rule every choice of ours and every decision we make. Somewhere during the journey we are taught about love – loving parents, loving neighbors, loving our country etc etc. We are also taught about ethics, morality, and other such concepts that are vital for a society. So till this point love didn’t exist in us very naturally until it was taught. We looked up to our parents for protection and support. And if they kept us comfortable, we were aligned to them, else rebels were born. So love is a forced concept, just like ethics and morality. Depending upon the surroundings you are born in, the definition of these concepts can keep varying.
And then comes a stage in life when you “fall in love” with someone. This form of love is again a forced thing – either you had read about it in books, or got influenced by movies, or followed your peers to have a lover in life and not feel alone, or maybe just wanted to cater to your urges (read needs). This form of love is also a forced concept, where we are heavily under the ‘influence’.

Maybe, Love is not a natural thing unlike Gravity. If it was natural, it would be constant – like gravity that is constant for everyone, everywhere, and at all times. But love keeps changing. There are seasons to love. There are phases. And therefore, there are breakups, there is deceit, there is hurt.

Or, maybe love is a natural thing, like gravity, but is beyond the reach of lesser beings. Maybe you have to work on yourself to reach a state where you are a different kind of human being who can feel the force of love, just like gravity. That would be the right form of love when you have it naturally in you, for everyone, everywhere, and at all times. Till then my friend, don’t say you love…you just need. And maybe that’s completely okay because you were born with that quality – looking for comfort and needs. Or maybe it’s not okay, because what use is of life if you have not grown stronger (read evolved) and added few more qualities to your kitty other than the bare minimums that you started with. Call this (evolution) a journey from zero to one, or one to infinity. But till that journey is made my friend, don’t say you love…you just need.


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